It’s strange how different life is when you’re looking back down the road of your life. All the twists and turns that have taken place and the ones yet to come. Even now, the past few months have had so many. This past year, on March 6th, my fiance and I got married. And this is what we learned: marriage is definitely not as easy as people make it out to be!
You know how people say there’s a “honeymoon phase” in marriage? Well I can tell you, that that is far, far from the truth. I mean, c’mon, you’re learning to live with someone in person, learning their weird habits, and it’s like two words colliding and for us, well we got thrown into the fighting right away. Between the things he hid, didn’t tell me, and lied to my face about, and my lack of communication after learning all these things, it turned into a love-hate battle between us.
It’s hard when dark things come to light…most of us don’t want to be open or trust or feel vulnerable again with someone who’s hurt you so bad repeatedly in the past and still is in the present too. You get to the point of feeling so small and insignificant and alone..even in your own home, and even with someone you thought you loved.
Like anything though, time goes on, and you have to choose to work through it or keep holding it inside or against each other and not ever moving forward. It’s not an easy task, but one I felt God leading me to do. To try and forgive, trust, and open back up to my husband after I built so many walls against him from the pain I felt. It took a lot of time and patience, but together, our marriage slowly started to heal.
We are far from the perfect couple, and have things to work on, but looking back I see just how far we’ve come and if I’m honest, it’s a long long way from where we started this marriage at, and the battle, I found, was worth it.